API Pep Talks: Overcoming Imposter Syndrome
Written by Jennifer Lin
More than 80% of people experience imposter syndrome, a recurring thought pattern of self-doubt despite one’s actual accomplishments. It makes you feel like you don’t deserve to be where you are—that you don’t belong.
It particularly shows up in our Asian American communities, from growing up as a perpetual foreigner to striving to live up to the expectations of our immigrant parents. We work hard, but it’s never enough. While Asian employees are widely perceived as high performing, they also feel the least included at work.
The good news is that we have the ability to rewire our own thoughts to align our inner confidence with our outer brilliance.
Tip #1: Draw on your inner wisdom.
The journey to overcoming imposter syndrome starts with understanding where the feelings come from. Growing up, my mom constantly compared me to other students. I would be terrified to face my parents if I earned anything less than an A grade. This drove me to be a top performer and get into Stanford University, but also gave me crippling anxiety. Looking back, I understand where my critical inner voice comes from and can reassure the little girl who felt like she wasn’t good enough.
Once you approach yourself with compassion, you start to see the value that you bring. If you experience imposter syndrome, it's because you care. Anyone I've known who has faced self-doubt has felt that way because they truly want to make a difference and bring value to others.
Practical steps to draw on your inner wisdom:
Write a letter to your younger self: Tell your past self, who felt uncertain and alone, that everything will be okay. Share with yourself how much you've accomplished and how proud your younger self would be.
Meditate on your future self: Imagine yourself 10 years in the future, coming over to your home and sitting down to have a conversation with you now. What wisdom would that self share?
Tip #2: Know your own value.
Imposter syndrome makes us feel a sense of worthlessness. I've hosted a room full of community leaders and wondered what expertise I could possibly add to the point of wishing I weren't there. I remind myself that there's a reason I've been placed in this profession, in this community, in this room. Sometimes it's to be an observer who can bring a fresh perspective, and sometimes it's to just listen and learn.
You might be the only person of color in the room. Or the only woman. Or the youngest person. Know that you bring value. API Rising Co-Founder Cathy Chan Butler says, “If you’re the only one, you deserve to be there.”
Practical steps to know your own value:
List out fears vs. facts: Write down your fears in one column, and then state the facts in the other. Be honest and specific about the fears. Fear: “Since my colleague disagreed with me in a meeting, the whole team will think I don't have enough experience and shouldn't have been hired.” Fact: “I've received ongoing positive feedback from my manager and have a concrete plan for areas of growth.”
Phone a friend: It can be hard to state the facts when the fears take over. External validation can help. Find your allies and cheerleaders who will hold up the mirror for you and tell you what you are doing well. Over time, you'll build the muscle to give yourself that self-validation, which is the most meaningful.
Tip #3: Lean into your superpower.
Society tells us that success looks a specific way. “Executive presence” is defined as having a certain confidence, freely expressing your opinions, and easily connecting with others. I grew up in an immigrant household where we did not have flowing conversations over the dinner table. It took me years to learn how to small talk, network, and speak up.
Over time, I’ve come to appreciate my superpowers of empathy and insight, which aren't often as celebrated. I can listen to a group of experts go deep into their craft, see the best of what they are doing, and help connect the dots. I'm not always the loudest in the room, but I'm one of the most strategic. What's your superpower?
Practical steps to lean into your superpower:
If listening is your superpower, ask questions: Learn to trust your instincts. When you think you have a “dumb” question, know that you have that question for a reason, and you should raise it. Others may be wondering the same thing.
If affirming is your superpower, share positive feedback: We often feel like when we speak up, it should be to voice an original idea. It can be just as powerful to affirm what you've heard and build on it. The “yes, and” approach is part of Pixar's culture of creative development and is also an improv practice.
Tip #4: Be patient in the process.
It takes time to reframe ingrained thought patterns and build up our sense of self-worth. As lifelong perfectionists, we can be hard on ourselves and wonder, “why do I still struggle with self-doubt?” Remember to have compassion on yourself and celebrate the progress you make over time.
As a child, I was scared to speak in class, and this continued throughout college and when I entered the workforce. It took many years of pushing myself to speak up in all kinds of different situations for me to finally find my confidence.
Practical steps to be patient in the process:
Set a measurable goal: You might commit to speak up once at every meeting. To start, it can help to review the agenda in advance and jot down a few thoughts or questions. Or volunteer to facilitate or present once a month. Find an accountability partner to check in with you on your progress.
Celebrate small wins: Write down one thing you did well each day. If you pushed yourself outside of your comfort zone, acknowledge the energy that took. If you had a challenging moment, your gratitude might be just for showing up and getting through it.
A final pep talk for when you need a boost:
You are here for a reason.
You've been through hell to get here. When you look back at the valleys, there were many moments when it felt like you would never make it. But you persevered. And you always will.
You know your worth. You know your talents. You know what happens when you harness your skills and passions for good. You know what it feels like to stand in your own power.
You have a story to tell. And people need to hear it. You have a voice. Use it.
You matter.
You belong.
You got this.
API Pep Talks is a series inspired by Asians in Advertising’s 2023 Breaking Barriers Summit.
